Housewifing Duties

OK everyone, can you tell me what it is that housewives are to do all day? Because so far I am super bad at it. Taylor left for work this morning and after he left I sat on the couch (because we have one of those now. An orange one to be exact.) not sure what to do with my day. Should I go to Walmart for the one millionth time this week and then pull up to our home realizing I've forgotten all the things I meant to get there in the first place? Should I go clean up the dishes from last night's dinner? (See what I mean? I'm really bad at housewifery.) Should I go make up our air mattress? Or clean the toilets? I'm just not sure. Maybe I should just sit here and read blogs about all the women who are actually good at this stuff.

That's when I remembered that New Girl was on last night and that's what I would do! I would watch it. But first, I have been growing out my leg hair (it's as gross as it sounds) to wax them, because as it turns out I grow beard hair on my legs and so waxing seems to be the only logical route for my tragically, dark, course leg hair.

Which brings me to yesterday, when I went to the store to buy some wooden sticks of some sort so that I might finish off the wax I bought for last months waxing extravaganza. But when I went to K-Mart, yes K-Mart, they have one of those here that is actually still in business, they had none. That's why K-Mart is almost always out of business.

I was really not in the mood for the Walmart store when suddenly I remembered that I still had to go to the hardware store for sandpaper. For a side table I am refinishing. No big deal. I pretend I can do some things. Now, I'm sure you're asking yourself, what does waxing one's legs and the hardware store have in common? Well, you know those wooden sticks they have at those stores for the paint mixing? I feel that my explanation needs not go any further.

So, I got to the store picked up my extra-fine sandpaper and asked the cute old man at the paint counter for the smallest paint stirring stick they had. He showed it to me. It was not all that small. And I said I'll take it.

So then, this morning when New Girl came to my mind and all seemed well in the world because I
would get to watch a new episode, waxing my legs sounded like the perfect pairing of activities. But much to my dismay, New Girl wasn't new, which seems ironic really, and so I settled instead for 27 clips of Ellen Degeneres', "The Ellen Show", via Hulu while I waxed my legs with the worlds largest waxing stick known to man.

And doesn't that qualify me as fulfilling some kind of wife duty?

What you see my foot resting on is our coffee table. 


  1. I think you are totally fulfilling your housewife duties. I mean what else could you possibly be doing?


Post a Comment