Because Goldish

The other night I was laying in bed watching Pretty Little Liars. And if there's something you should know about me it is that I am 26-years-old and I am terrified, and I do mean terrified, of the dark; the unknown that looms there, and all the horrifying things that you never think twice about when the sun is shining and lights are on, but in the dark, well it's anyone's game...including all the robbers and burglars that are probably just waiting for you to take that step up around the corner, or grab your ankles while going up the stairs (this one is by far my GREATEST fear of all. I usually run up the stair skipping two steps at a time.) And I'm honestly not quite sure where this fear came from. I mean I loathe scary movies and refuse to watch them at all costs, so it must just be my own dumb brain and imagination that makes it all up but the thing is I can't help it. So I guess embrace it? I mean, what other options do I have, overcome it? Because after this many years, I am preeeetty sure that will never happen.

Anyway, Pretty Little Liars (if you've ever seen it) doesn't do much good for this unreasonable aversion to the dark and while in the middle of it earlier this week, I suddenly got this insatiable craving for goldfish. It's a phase I'm going through I'm sure, but I swear to you I could eat an entire million ounce box of those things and not think twice. So I promptly got up from my bed, walked into the well-lit computer room where Taylor was and asked him if he could go downstairs and get my goldfish for me. He looked up at me, smiled, and asked, "Have you been watching Pretty Little Liars?" I mumbled a "maybe" and then he asked if I was worried about all the robbers downstairs to which I responded, "DUH!"

He laughed and promptly went downstairs to retrieve the fish crackers along with a glass of water with 4 ice cubes, because everyone knows that 4 is the perfect amount to keep your water cold long enough for you to drink all of it and then be left with ice cubes just small enough for you to chew. I mean, doesn't everyone know that? So with the goldfish and water in hand my knight in shining basketball shorts returned and I sat in bed and nervously ate the entire bag of fish while finishing my show, to which afterwards I felt this major overload of sodium intake settle in my blood, my skin, and even my bones I think. Then that reminded me of the time when my little brother was a baby and us older siblings thought it would be a good idea to fill up his bottle with pickle juice wherein he drank the entire thing and the next morning woke up with a swollen face and eyes shaped like the kind you might find in China. My mom sort of freaked out when she saw him and asked us what happened. "Well, we gave him a bottle of pickle juice last night, so that might be why he looks like that...." She asked us why we thought that that was a good idea and we told her that "he really liked it!" And wasn't that a good enough reason? We thought so anyway. And after at least 24 hours the swelling went down, so no harm, no foul, right? Right.

And so with enough salt in my system to last me the rest of the month, enough fear instilled to keep me from getting off the bed, and making sure that Taylor was by my side, I rolled over to go to sleep, and hoped I wouldn't wake up looking like my little brother did.


  1. I am in love with you, your writing and the life you are creating. xoxoxo


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